So What is HWP?
Jack's Ramblings: Jesus WAS a Jew
Stacia Horvath Burton
O.K.! Let's face it.
The Passion is one hell of a movie.
But...... I have some questions about it. Jesus was a Jew, Right? So it's
agreed, the people involved are all Jewish. Right? He was 'offed' by the
Romans. No? The people who conspired with the Romans to 'off' him were
The "anti-Jesus" Jews were Jews, just like the Jews who followed Jesus,
except they didn't like Jesus. This logically makes sense. Right? So
actually, the "Passion of the Christ" is Jew against Jew.
And there's more, Jesus was the first 'hippie', too. He had long hair, a
beard, talked love, peace and burned incense! Beads, too........like
Rosary Beads, made from extinct mammoth tusks or Unicorn horns! Would
Jesus love the Jefferson Airplane?, Moby Grape?, Janis Joplin?, Jimi
Hendryx?....of course, Jesus loved everyone. Jesus would even have loved
the Grateful Dead. They just might be the "house band" on Judgment Day
(pardon the joke), Jesus was way cool - he brought people back from the
dead like those EMT guys do on TV. Jesus also came back from the dead,
just like Buffy, except she was only on TV, he really DID it! And
reported back! Then there's this 'walking on water' thing. Doh! Who's
done that 'right' since then........Madonna? Sure! We all know she used
TV effects - uh? Did Jesus have a 'steady cam'? No way! No one was there
to broadcast that Columbus had discovered a new world. It was the first
guy off the ship that told that story - he was the reporter and he told
the people - was that reporter wrong? Not telling the truth? Well Jesus
had 4 reporters, all were Jews - even Mary and Joseph were Jews!
Could we then say the four reporters (Apostles) wrote for
Gospel Reporter'? Way cool? Huh?
The crimes and evil against man by man far exceed the number of ants in
an ant hill. Jesus, the Jew, wanted everyone to love everyone else! He
wanted to defeat evil and injustices through love. Better cool? Huh? Hugh
Hefner had the same kinda idea, except he was more focused on the smarmy
side of love, in a sense, carnal, that had no effect on evil (remember
all those one-night stands?) Jesus always wore robes and there were no
depictions of Jesus naked, except those baby picture renditions. Is it a
coincidence? Hugh Hefner also wears robes! Bathrobes!
And you never see a picture of him naked either. Right?
Jesus hung out with Mary Magdalen, Hugh Hefner has Mandy, Brandy, Candy,
etc. Mary was scorned for her profession, yet Jesus loved her. Hugh
Hefner loves his ladies, too, until he abruptly dumps them and then he
no longer gives them any of 'his love', except if there's child support.
Jesus never did that, perhaps, he was more careful?. I don't know if
Hugh Hefner is Jewish, but his idea of 'love everyone' is 180 degrees
opposite of Jesus'. It is here where the similarity ends. Hefner
wouldn't like Jesus, but Jesus would love him. There's no
implication Jesus was a homosexual here, because Jesus emphatically said
he loved every living soul.
Jesus always spoke of the Kingdom of God. Right? Men, since before the
appearance of Jesus and even today, have tried to put their own kingdoms
together. They have always failed because they died! Yes, they died. God
never died, God outlasts all of them. Let's take Bill Gates who is now
the master of the Kingdom of Microsoft. Jesus would love him. He
wouldn't love Jesus. Jesus would want Bill Gates to share his
beneficence with 'the meek and the poor'. Two examples of Jesus at his
best were the 'loaves and the fishes' and the 'wedding wine'. Where Bill
Gates would've opened up a concession stand to sell the extra bread and
fish and 'kept the bar closed' until the tab was paid, Jesus kept the
meal going at a Woodstock type of event and, for the lucky groom, kept
the wine flowing at the marriage! Whew! That's a lot of work for
'donations'! Could you see Bill Gates do that? Sure? After Jesus was
tortured he was crucified and put to death to return to the 'Kingdom of
his Father'. On the other hand Bill Gates tortures every living soul
that 'enters' the Kingdom of Microsoft'. Instead of crowns of thorns,
whips, nails, the wily Bill Gates uses evil codes and formulas to create
Win XP, MS Word, Internet Explorer in order to copy your personal
information, similar to God but a lot more evil, and give this
information to others who now have your weaknesses so they may offer you
temptations. Boy, doesn't this sound familiar? Huh? Think the Devil in
the Garden of Eden! Right! If Bill Gates disapproves of your actions,
his vengeance is often fatal with the 'black screen' of death or the
'blue screen' of re-set. Jesus never faced wrath like the Kingdom of
Microsoft before, but he could easily handle the threat if posed. Jesus
would only have to ask his Father for a 'grain of sand' from the
Universe, he created, and aim it at Seattle. But, Jesus, the Jew, loves
Bill Gates, too, so don't count on it. Is Bill Gates Jewish?
And so my reading public 'Passion of the Christ' is probably a great
movie with many things to learn about Jesus. One thing I got to admit
Jesus took one hell of a beating, like Floyd Paterson against Sonny
Liston. Both Jesus and Floyd bled like a garroted lamb. And Jesus had
more power than the 'Energizer Bunny' and the Timex watch combined, but
those were only on TV. The batteries in my Walkman have died - never to
come back to life either - and my Timex often makes the universe go a
little fast, sometimes slow, but when it stopped it was still right 2
times a day. Jesus never cared about Walkmen or time, he dealt with
forever. Forever is a hard word to even imagine - the 'Energizer Bunny'
and a Timex won't last forever, but who cares. When they invent
something like an MP3 player, I don't need my walkman, so who cares if
it doesn't last forever. My Timex may ............. take a beating and
keep on ticking........but not as bad as Jesus' beating, if that beating
and torture killed Jesus....what chance does my Timex have! Right?
Well, I never did get around to seeing the movie, but anything about
Jesus must be cool and I hope he plays some of the roles I've placed him
in. I'll bet Mel Gibson didn't even scratch the surface, perhaps he can
get some story plots from this when and if he does - Jesus - The Sequel
or Jesus vs Alla and the 40 Islamic Terrorists or Jesus vs Buddha/Peace
and Love vs Love and Peace, think of the possibilities. Jesus was a hell
of a guy!!!!
Jack Abbott, was the
power behind the 2003 Max's Kansas City charity art auction held in NYC.
It showcased the work of many famous and very talented artists including
his wife Mary Abbott's work in florals. Max's Kansas
City was the in place back in the 70's where the rockstars and famous
actors were the regulars. Jack, of course, was a regular too.
Jack can often be seen hobnobbing with friends who are celebrities and
rock stars from the ole' days but Jack isn't one to waste time
socializing without making things happen . . . he's always looking for
great talent to feature in his next big benefit concert or to represent
as agent. Jack has worn many hats in his long-time career in
entertainment and communications. He was a feature writer
for the Village Voice in Greenwich Village for many years, a true
professional who's launched many a successful PR campaign and the owner
of his own record company which represented many of the Punk Rock all
time favorites. He is now in the process of putting together
a DVD which will feature his exclusive footage of interviews with and
live recordings of the 70's to 80's eras' greatest names in music.
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